This it turns out is a really import question. Some believe that when you judge others you take on their karma. In other words, the more you judge the more you need to resolve the issues you are judging. In our lives with our mental check lists on automatic pilot we can accumulate a lot of judgements. Often if we do notice, we think it is justified, as our desire to be right kicks in. In my book Spiritual Reality, I give the following personal example of a seemingly simple judgement and the long term consequences.
Helping someone you love unconditionally without judgment or feeling sorry for them gives them the freedom to carry out their path knowing they are loved. You are honoring and empowering them.
There is a saying “you become what you judge”. A personal experience with regards to this brought the saying home to me in a loud and clear way. It happened when I was a post-doctoral student in Scripps Research Clinic in California. I had a running partner who I would run with in Torrey Pines along the cliff paths at lunch time. He had diabetes and had to inject himself every day. Occasionally we would have lunch after the run and he would get a hot dog. At this point in my life I was training for a triathlon and was food conscious. I was horrified that he would eat hot dogs with his medical condition. I was judging his food choices. However, I noticed that I started to crave hot dogs – and started eating them. I could not understand why until I connected the judgment I had of him and his food choices. To this day, I still have a weakness for hot dogs. So be careful what you judge, you may end up being just that!
When you help someone while judging them, you are loving them conditionally. The condition being that they would be better with your view of how they should be. You are fulfilling your own beliefs and needs. You cannot know what another soul needs to learn and grow. You can just love them as they are and help them when they indicate by some form that they want the assistance.