When you feel resentful

Life often goes up and down. Our moods can be up, level or down. The changes give us perspective among other things. For example, if we are never down how would we know what it feels like to be up?

When you have confidence and certainty that your moods will pass you are relatively unaffected. You can say to yourself this too shall pass. However, when there is a stubborn streak of down it becomes problematic.

Why would this happen? There are external events and internal events in your life. External being the material world around you. Internal events being the events created by your thought processes and interpretation of the external events.

Right now, I want to consider one of the internal events that can negatively affect your mood. You, I am sure can think of many more that weave in and out of your consciousness.

Here I am talking about resentment. I think it is an often-neglected catalyst that creates a down mood. Resentment by its nature is something that is partly hidden and also simmers. Much like a pot ready to boil.

At some point you know it will boil but until that happens life goes on. Somehow there is the illusion that it will not boil just simmer at a reasonable level. In other words, the resentment does not seem to have any consequence – at least not in the near future – This makes it something that can be put off till the pot boils so to speak.  

This approach is fine – till the pot boils. Then there is often surprise and a feeling of wanting to kicking yourself so to speak for not noticing earlier.

There are different kinds of resentment. From strong resentment which is obvious to everyone even yourself – to the subtle resentment which you barely notice. Unfortunately, I believe all forms will eventually come to fruition and boil so to speak.

Try an exercise for a day.

Do not do anything that you resent doing. See how hard or easy this is for you.

Write a list of the things you resent doing even a little bit. See how these thoughts of resentment affect your actions and feelings during the day.

If you resent doing something wait to do it till you feel no resentment. If this is not possible spend 10 minutes clarifying in your mind why the task creates a feeling of resentment.

Often, we are not clear or think about what really causes the resentment. Ultimately, you are the one that carries the resentment and you are the one that is cheating yourself of enjoying your life in that moment. Remember the moments add up as the resentments do.

To enjoy yourself in the moment – you need to be in the moment. Letting go of resentment helps you to let go of ties that bind you whether they are real or not. You are worth the effort.

In my book Spiritual Reality: Transforming the Ordinary into the Extraordinary I talk about the importance of the physical world to us as spiritual beings.

The physical world gives us a sense of consequence. Resentment leads to consequences so that you can delve into and heal the reason for the resentments and in doing so changing your patters and hence the physical reality around you.

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